A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Maddie worrying that she'd never "heard" God. Well, she Maddie came up to me last week and said, "Mom, I've heard God! I've been praying a lot about something, and I know what he wants me to do! I've got to talk to (my friend) and tell her that she's not my best friend. I don't want to do it - it's going to make her mad and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I know it's what I'm supposed to do."
So here's some of the background... For a while now Maddie has been having some “friend guilt” at school. She has been very worried that she led a friend of hers to believe they were BEST FRIENDS. Well, they are very, very good friends, and this girl probably IS Maddie’s best friend at school, but her “FIRST best friend” (her words, not mine) lives in Columbus (but used to go to Wesleyan). I have tried to help her through this guilt, because this friend frequently asks or makes comments about their BFF status. One suggestion I had was to respond “Yep, you’re my best friend at Wesleyan” but when she tried that, she doesn’t think the friend caught it. Well, the guilt intensified over Christmas break. The first day of school as we were driving home, Maddie said: “Mommy, I’ve decided to talk to (my friend) and tell her that she isn’t really my best friend. I know it might make her mad, but I really need her to know. I can feel God telling me it's what I should do.” Wow… I thought, that’s a big deal, but that might not end well. We talked as we drove, and I tried to help her with some ways to break the news, but non of them felt quite right. I kept asking if she was really sure this was something she needed to do, and there was no hesitation in her voice. *sigh* Matthew was in the car with us, but he never chimed in. A few days later, Maddie said, “I haven’t had a chance to talk to (her) yet… today she was in a bad mood, and I knew telling her would make it worse. But if she’s in a really good mood, I don’t want to ruin it. It’s hard to find the right time!" Again we started talking about it, and suddenly I had some divine wisdom (and I do mean divine, because I’m not known for my wisdom in these matters). It dawned on me, being the wise-beyond-her-years kid that she is, that she might benefit from something it took me 35 years to learn: we really don’t need to “rank” our friends. God brings different people into our lives for different reasons, and relationships fill unique and different roles. I gave her that suggestion - "just an idea - why don't you try telling her friend that you have been feeling guilty because you are close friends with her and close friends with Sara and a few others at school and you've decided that you really don’t want to rank your friends… that (this friend) is the only one of her you have and you love her for HER." I didn’t know what Maddie thought about that really, but the next day, she came home and was smiling ear to ear. She said, “I talked to (her) and it went GREAT! She didn’t get mad at all! I used your idea and it went great!” Matthew immediately said, “Wow! God answered my prayer.” I asked him what he meant, and he said, “I prayed and asked Jesus to help Maddie with this when she first talked about it in the car three days ago.” He said, “God always answers our prayers, but sometimes the answer is no, and sometimes we have to wait a long time on the answer.”
There are so many "wow's" in all of that that I've lost count. WOW.
